Posted in Missions Trip Thoughts by Jennifer Miele on 7/19/2011
I don't understand the love of God.
I thought I knew it, but I think I've only just tasted it. I think I'm on the shore, I still need to get in the water.
I got to be a part of a conversation that I think I'll remember for a long time.
Our contact Tony takes in street kids. It's Isaiah 53 in the flesh. He brings the homeless poor into his house, he clothes them, shares his food with them, fathers them. No one asked him to do this, he's not part of an existing program or ministry. The love of God is in him, and so he goes out and brings the outcasts into his home, and loves them like their his own sons. I don't understand it.
These kids have a rough story, using thinner to escape the pain of their existence, no fathers in the picture, moms that can't care for them because they can't really even care for themselves. They come from one of the most dangerous neighborhoods in Tegucigalpa. From generations of abuse, neglect, drugs, violence and hopelessness. They're punks, kicked out of churches, school, no one wants them around.
A couple of months ago one of the boys Tony has had a relationship with for years decided he finally wanted to change. So, he left his spot behind the garbage dumps, his job of getting high, everything he knew, to come and live with Tony and his wife on the farm. He's in the process of completing two grades a year in school to catch up, he's 14 and learning to take care of himself for the first time. Learning to brush his teeth, pick up after himself, wash his plate after dinner, the things our parents teach us when we're kids. He loves to play with cars, it's hilarious for a minute to see this 14 year old boy go nuts over little toy cars, but then I remember that he hasn't really had much of a childhood and now is a good a time as any to catch up on all that he's missed.
So this boy living with Tony got caught in a lie and a participant into the situation to cover his tracks. That's how I wound up sitting in on the conversation. Tony and his wife sat him down for about an hour until the truth came out. They cried. His sin hurt their hearts. It baffled me. Tony kept saying, lets move forward from this, you made a mistake, you confessed it, lets move forward. They decided to leave it at the table, not to bring it up again because it's in the past, confessed, done. So this 14 year old kid, just a punk on the streets a few months ago, getting high behind a garbage dumps, sits across the table from Tony crying, saying he's sorry, he wants to stay, he loves them, he wants to try again.
It reminds me of when Jesus talks to Peter after He raised from the dead, He says, Do you love me? Of all of the things He could have said to him, he said, Do you love me? Over and over and over. He doesn't see Peter as someone who betrayed him, as a failure, but as a friend who fell, who lost his courage for a moment, but will grow and change into a son more righteous than before, who will get back up again, who will lead His Bride.
I've struggled with condemnation, being super hard on myself, and in turn hard on others. I see the love of God in how Tony handled this boys sin. His heart was to restore, to forgive, to move forward. He's on his side, always.
I have a Father who is always on my side. Even that sentence sounds trite, not big enough to capture the depth of what it means to have Someone on my side no matter what I do. But there He is, fighting for me, telling me to keep on, to get up. I don't think I'll ever understand His love, but I'm thankful I get to spend my life searching out His heart. I'm thankful that Jesus tore the veil, that I'm a daughter. It's ridiculous.
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Posted in Fundraising by Jennifer Miele on 6/16/2011
I'm in Honduras. I want to catch you all up on the last month of life. I finished the race, came home for 10 days and then left for another adventure. I'm leading a missions trip for college students in Honduras for the next 2 months. We're just outside of Tegucigalpa living on a farm with our contact Tony, his wife and a few boys they've taken into their home.
I'm leading 6 students, all from ages 18-22, that have chosen to spend their summer exploring what Jesus has for them here. We're working with Tony and his wife this summer. Tony spends his time loving street kids; pursuing them, taking them into his home, keeping up with their schooling, encouraging them and everything else fathering a fatherless generation entails. This ministry is beautiful to be a part of. More on that later.
In addition to spending time with the boys Tony has in his life, we're teaching english, art and phys ed in a school in Los Pinos 4 days a week. Los Pinos is one of the roughest areas here, the families here are up against gangs, poverty, violence, and abuse. The little school is run for free by Professor Angela and exists for children who haven't been able to attend the main schools in the area because of various challenges (poverty, behavior issues, neglect, etc.) Whoa, they are a beautiful bunch of children. I've only spent three days with them and I can't handle how fabulous they are!
I need prayer. a whole lot of it. For divine wisdom in leading this group, for eyes to see who Jesus says they are, for insight, for love, for energy. The list is unending! Any prayer is needed and appreciated.
I'm also still fundraising for this trip, I have about 600 more to go before I'm where I need to be. If you would like to partner with me in this you can donate online through this page.
Thanks for your support! Thanks for reading this :)
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Posted in Fundraising by Jennifer Miele on 5/15/2011
Hey friends and fam,
I'm home in 5 days!!yeah!!!!!! I'm currently in Honduras visiting a friend until I fly home on the 20th!!! The World Race ended for me on May 12th! It was bittersweet. I'm ready to come home, but grieving letting go of the people that have become my family and my church over the past year. I'd love to tell my stories, answer questions and catch up on all of your lives while I'm home. call me :)
In the midst of the transition of that last week of the race I was asked to consider leading a missions trip for college age students through Adventures in Missions. The trip (called Real Life) is from May 31st to August 3rd, and I will be placed in either Kenya or Honduras, tbd. I've said yes to this opportunity because I believe it will bring me closer to Jesus, and at the end of the day that's all I want and all I need.
whoa...I need all of your prayers in this! The truth is I'm tired, I need Jesus strength like never before, but I'm learning that rest is not found in a place or a lifestyle but in the person of Jesus. I'm excited to learn about that as I do this next trip knowing I don't have any of my own strength left.
I need to raise around $1000 more in order to be fully funded for this trip. First of all, thanks so much for all of your support to me during the world race, I couldn't have done it without ya'll. The Lord changed my life during this past year, thank you for being part of that. I'm so grateful for it!
If you are able and would like to support me once again you can click on the "support me" tab and give as much as you'd like.
I truly NEED your prayers, for more intimacy with Papa, for real love for the students, for eyes to see them like Abba does.
I plan on being home for a few months once i get back in August and then pursuing life in Atlanta, working with sex trafficking organizations and hopefully attending Bethel School of Ministry.
We shall see, He has a way of throwing new things at me as I go :)
love ya'll!
Jennifer
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Posted in General Posts by Jennifer Miele on 4/16/2011
I've made it safely to my last month of the Race! Can't believe it! We're in Puerto Barrios, Guatemala for the next 3 weeks and then off to Antigua for a week of final debrief before we fly home. I'd LOVE prayer as I finish this season out! It seems to get harder by the day :) I'd love prayer for my heart posture as I transition back home to who knows what, that my heart would be FIXED on Papa, passionately in pursuit of Him, postured in gratefulness and saturated with humility. Thanks for praying with me. I feel desperate for it these days.
Here's how I'll sum up last month for me personally "Lessons Learned in Failing." Whoa.... so many of them. I feel like I consistently missed the point. I'm thankful for grace in a way that I never have been before. I learned some rich lessons in loving and in forgiving that I wouldn't trade for anything.
I learned that "community" is more about Papa being manifested through our love, forgiveness, grace, and encouragement poured out on the people we are around than it is about figuring exactly what each person, myself included, needs to do/stop doing to make "it" work.
I learned that there is NO point in entertaining negative thoughts about anyone, or situation. Papa is working for the good of those who love Him, bringing them up higher, more free, more of who they are in Christ, out of the bondage they're sitting in. Focusing on the negative only works with the enemy and gives the liar ground in my heart to sow seeds of discord, to speak more lies, to discourage, and to destroy. He is a liar, he does not speak the truth about any of us. I WANT so badly to be a person who is a cheer leader for those around me. To truly be doing what Abba is doing, loving, speaking truth, calling into life. It's NOT easy, I have to get over myself. I feel like I've been learning this one my whole life. I want raw compassion for the people around me, because that's what our Dad has for each of us.
I learned in such an interesting way that I want to be a faithful steward of the passions and desires in my heart. When they're from the Father they're a gift. I don't want my use of them to be dependent on the responses of the people around me. I don't want to ignore my passion because I will be running after things by myself, I want to steward my heart well.
At the end of the day, what remains, and what will be burned away into nothing?
I want this question at the forefront of my mind. I propose love is the only thing that remains at the end of the day. Loving people with the love that Jesus has relentlessly given me. He's beautiful, we need Him to be manifest around us through our love more than we need anything else.
I don't want to be a hypocrite, I want to live what I believe and speak. That is a lesson from this month as well. :)
This is my team. pray for them as they transition home as well please!!!
They make me laugh, and teach me so much.
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Posted in Missions Trip Thoughts by Jennifer Miele on 3/26/2011
Update, I'm in El Salvador! I'm pretty sure that we got here on Monday. We're about an hour outside of the capitol in a medium sized town called San Vicente! We're working with a church here doing all kinds of stuff. They're making a name for Abba with their Passion! I've loved being part of this body so far, they're so beautiful. They're kicking off a "Salvation" Campaign in a few different cities near here. The Campaign will be on the 1st-3rd of April. Our role in that so far has been showing up in different towns and surrounding barrios, passing out info on the events around town, doing dramas, giving testimonies, praying for people, inviting them to the events, etc. Our month looks pretty packed, I'm excited to see what the Lord has in store. They want Him, and that thrills my heart to get to go after Him along side of these believers. Our ministry in Romania was similar to what we're doing here, and it ended up being my favorite month, the Lord showed up and we got to see Him be Himself and overshadow people with His love. Please pray for the people here, that they would see His light! So brilliant, and good!
Oh, please note this: my team is well on it's way to becoming a group of well-known performers here in El Salvador. The other night we went to part one of these campaigns at a huge outdoor venue/church in San Salvador and performed our drama in front of more than a thousand people. It's hilarious to me the random things we find ourselves doing here on the World Race.
So lately I've been learning to love Abba with my thinking. Easier said than done. The past 4 months He's uprooted a lot in my heart. Revealed lots of lies that I've been agreeing with since who knows when. Then He's shown me how those lies grew into negative thought patterns, that grew into unbelief. It gets me to think about how I haven't believed things He's said about me and about Himself for so long. His voice it is absolutely the final word on EVERYTHING, I love what Psalms 29 says about His voice:
The voice of the Lord is upon the waters; the voice of the Lord is powerful, the voice of the Lord is majestic, the voice of the Lord breaks the cedars; Yes, the voice of the Lord breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon.
One example of this pattern: the Lord showed me at the beginning of the race that I walked in the lie I was generally inadequate, somehow made less purposefully than the people around me. Out of that lie I fell into comparing myself with the people around me, which then furthered my propensity to perform for the Lord and for others. (Comparison steals joy like no other. It's such a trap and it absolutely fruitless. Based completely on lies and the perspectives of people. ) So when that negative roots itself in my heart it becomes ground for a lot of other lies to take root, if I'm inadequate, then Abba probably won't use me much, probably doesn't care about the details of my life, etc, the lies go on from there. Such bull shit.
I can't grow in my identity as a daughter and as the beloved of my Father if I'm not first believing what He says about me and about Himself, and absolutely choosing to REST in that. If we're still looking around for our existence to be validated by how we compare to the lives of those around us we need to root out the lie that has found it's home in our hearts. We've got occupy/dwell in the land He has given us to live in, A LAND OF ABUNDANCE, where HE is EVERYTHING and ENOUGH. Everything flows from our standing before the Father.
If I don't have intimacy with Him, and if I don't trust what He says about of me, who He is for me, I'll fall into performing, and I'll run dry when people don't recognize who I am.
When Papa speaks life happens, even if it hurts to hear at first. The enemy's voice is slimy, untruthful, condemning, fearful, negative, passive, and generally just filthy and ridiculous; he doesn't deserve to be listened to. He literally has nothing of worth to say. Ever. I think we brush off a lot of negative thoughts as truth, because it's what our eyes see, because it's easy, and in that we passively receive the lies of the enemy as fact. Learning to really take my thoughts captive to the glory of the Lord is tough, it requires a lot more faith, and trust, diligence, and sometimes, just plain stubbornness than I'd imagined.
Something I'm learning in all of this is to find rest in the gentleness and humility of Jesus. He comes to my sin, my failure and my faults with gentleness. His commitment to me, His unchanging nature, His loyalty, His genuine friendship have to be a resting place for my heart, we have to be yoked to Him and no other.
I think believing what He says about Himself and about us is simply loving Him with our minds.
I'm sorry if this was hard to follow. I ramble when I get passionate about what I'm sharing. I hope this has blessed you in some way. We're so much more than we know, all of us, because of who He is, He doesn't make mistakes, He's such a brilliant artist, and a passionate friend and Father.
I've been studying this teaching from Graham Cooke that's applicable to this subject for a few weeks now and I highly recommend it, it's called Overcoming Negativity Through Rest, it's available on Itunes. Go for it :)
Here's one of my favorite quotes from it: " It's true that we have faults, but that's not the TRUTH. The TRUTH is who we are in Jesus. The TRUTH that sets us free is who we are in JESUS. Grace confronts what is true because it has a passion for TRUTH. "
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Posted in Fundraising by Jennifer Miele on 3/16/2011
I bought my plane ticket home a few days ago. I'll welcome America back into my life on May 20th! It's starting to feel real that this journey is winding up, and the next one is right around the corner.
I've been thinking a lot about what Abba has done in me on this trip, what I want to see in the next two months, and how to keep walking in what's been given to me once I get home. At the beginning of this month I was all over the place when I thought about coming home, but Abba has done some really ridiculous things in my heart here, and despite all of the uncertainty that surrounds leaving, I feel joyful about whatever is next for me and Him. That's a miracle.
On the same note, I'd love your prayers for me as I transition back to the States, for grace to keep my eyes fixed on Abba, for discernment and wisdom in following His lead.
I've been thinking about this lately and want to speak it out loud. Last month a group of us had just gotten back from ministry on bar street in Chiang Mai. We were sitting in a little room downstairs talking about our nights, I noted the feeling of the room was somewhat off. The next afternoon a friend and I were down in the same room and I noticed how the feeling in the room was so much different than the night before. I got to thinking about how with what we carry around in our hearts we impact the atmosphere around us. We can bring Abba's peace, joy and gentleness into a room, or we can carry around things not of Him; jealousy, bitterness, anger, etc. We get to be co-creators with Daddy in something as significant as the atmosphere around us, the vibe of a room. Everyone gets to take part in creation and redemption. We can create and atmosphere where the Holy Spirit is welcome, where the Father is seen, or we can further amplify the things of this world with what's in our hearts.
I want this dwelling place I've been given in this life to be a place where Abba is welcome, where He is seen, where the River of Life is flowing so violently that it splashes out on the people around me, I want to see Kingdom happening all over the place. That gets me excited about coming home.
We're headed to El Salvador on Saturday. I'd love your prayers for us as we travel. Month 10 here we come!
ALSO: I'm done support raising!! THANK YOU so much to all of my supporters! I feel like thank you doesn't cover it. Your support means a lot to me and has been a testimony of Abba's faithfulness. Thank. you.
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Posted in Missions Trip Thoughts by Jennifer Miele on 3/3/2011
I'm in Nicaragua!! I'm so thankful to be here again. This month my team is in the beautiful town of Jinotepe. I just love this place, Nicaragua is such a beautiful country; the people, the culture, the landscape, the food. Love it. We're working with a pastor in a handful of different places around town. We've been doing hospital ministry, visiting a special needs school, a nursing home, 2 different churches, and doing door to too in two different barrios. So this basically looks like walking around the neighborhood meeting people, getting to know them, praying for them, encouraging them in the Lord, however the Spirit leads.... and if we're lucky they have kids we can play with!! I've been really blessed by some of the people we've met. Last week we mat a man probably in his late 80's living with a lot his family in a tiny house in one of the barrios. His words were full of praise for the Lord, he didn't have much of anything, not much to eat, no job, but kept bringing the conversation back to Abba's faithfulness.
I need to brag about the Lord for a second. man, He's just GOOD. I've been thinking back through the journey He's brought me on these past 9 months and I can't get over how faithful He is!!! He's done so much outside of how I've seen Him move in the people around me in ministry and in the lives of my friends here. He's such a Champion for us. He's revealed so much truth to me, brought about so much redemption in my heart, just knocked me over with His kindness, His commitment to me, His constancy. I've been trying to wrap my mind around His ridiculous greatness, (that He carved out volcanoes, that He leads the stars out at night... ) and then at the same time He's humble..... He's just such a beautiful Father. Our love affects the heart of the King. I can't wrap my little mind around it. He's just too much. I don't ever want to get over Him. I want to be broken over Him all of my days.
 special needs school. these kiddos are FABULOUS!!!
 church at Quinta Esperanza. this game is simply....throw water on whoever you want
 Masaya Volcano. slightly active... yikes.
non active volcano. Glorious.
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Posted in General Posts by Jennifer Miele on 2/18/2011
My favorite part of this month was the friends that I made. Their names are Quan, Nam and Mint. They are such beautiful people!!! Here's how it all started. My teammate Sydney and I noticed that there was one corner in particular on bar street where the prostitutes hung out. Friends in the making right? Yes. So we went one night to talk to one of the girls, but while we were approaching she got into a car with a customer. We sat down on a bench feeling defeated, but asked the Lord over and over to get her out of the car. Then after couple of minutes she walked right by us! Yeah Jesus! So that's how it all started. We asked the girls if we could bring them dinner one night, and that turned into stopping by every night and hanging out with them while they waited around on the street corner for customers.
The women turned out to be "lady boys". Pretty self-explanatory, they are men who decided to be women, and go to varying extremes to walk out life in that identity. Some go as far as having sex-change operations while others don't go that far. They are kind of a marginalized people in Thailand. They can't get any jobs with the government and have a hard time getting jobs outside of that. I hate talking about them like they are anything other than precious, anything other than valuable. At the beginning of the month I saw them as prostitutes. After a night of hanging out with them they became my friends. It got harder and harder to stand on the streets with them while they tried to scratch out a living, night after night, out of desperation.
Two of the girls told us their stories over dinner the other night. Both decided they wanted to be women when they were little kids. Their families were and are supportive of their decision. They've ended up selling their bodies because they've found no other option to support themselves and their families. They hate their jobs. Abba's heart is after their heart. Their sexual preference is not their identity, they are people, and they are oppressed This is unacceptable to me, that anyone anywhere should have to sell their body in order to survive. I want to know what redemption looks like for them, and what it looks like for the women who work on the streets at home? I wonder if it's as simple as telling one girl she is to precious to sell her body and she can live in your home until .....I don't know, but that's what I've been thinking about this month.
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Posted in Missions Trip Thoughts by Jennifer Miele on 2/8/2011
This month my team is working in Chiang Mai Thailand with Light House Ministries. The purpose of Light House is to reach out to the women in the bars of the Red Light District here. Chiang Mai is a huge tourist destination so bar street is crowded with lonely people from all over the world. So every night we have some of our group here stay back to intercede and then some that head out to the bars to love on the women there. The opportunities are endless, or at least really blatant. The street is crowded with bars, and the women are good at attracting attention to themselves amidst all of the noise and clamor of the street.
I've gotten to get to know two women really well which has been a blessing. It seems like good bit of the women are in the bars simply because it is the only way they see to provide for themselves and their families. They often say that they don't like the job, of course, who would. it's heartbreaking. In the past few nights the Lord has opened doors for us to hang out with the lady boys (men who've turned themselves into women) who don't work in a bar, but have settled into selling their bodies on the corner. Truly, my favorite part of the race so far has been spending time with them, I can feel the Fathers passion over them in a way that makes my heart beat faster than I think it should.
One thing I've learned just a little bit more about this month is the power in loving people extravagantly. AH, I love it! I think our call at it's core is to let the sweet, extravagant love of Abba wash over people by the way we treat them; how we speak, how we react to them, our pursuits our questions...I'm learning that it involves a lot more death than I thought it would. Getting over myself, my insecurities, my "rights", my agenda. Praise the Lord for His mercy and patience in loving us deeper into His heart and out of our own safe and controlled little worlds we spend our lives protecting. Love leaves people with so many questions, it leaves me with so many questions. It brings so much joy to my heart to see people confused by how we treat them. It's happened a lot lately, it's such a beautiful beginning to encountering the Father.
Please pray with us for the Light to break in on bar street, for eyes that see, ears that hear, hearts that are softened, for all of the lonely people to be pulled out of the deep waters that they are in. Pray that the Light of the Father sparks in that cold place in the hearts of the men and women stuffing themselves full of all the wrong things hoping to find life. May they be satisfied, captivated and swept away by Him.
Confuse the people around you by how you love them. Live each day in such a way that makes the people around you stop, and question what the heck is going on with you.
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Posted in Fundraising by Jennifer Miele on 1/31/2011
Alright, I want to tell you all about our ministry in Chiang Mai, Thailand, how the Lord has been speaking, moving, just showing Himself to be the Faithful Champion that He is. But first, I really want to hear about how the Kingdom is coming where you ,the reader :), are.
Look forward to reading your stories below in the comment box :)
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